I am pretty tired this morning. Violet decided not to go down until midnight. I'm sure I'll manage though. I had some hard moments yesterday. I did go to church because I can't think of a better place to be when you are going through something difficult. It is interesting what will affect you, like the song "I am a Child of God". It was sad to sing "has given me an earthly home with parents kind and dear". Of course I still have parents even if they have passed away, but still it touched a soft spot. I have found though that my body rarely allows me to cry in public. I'm not sure why, but that is how I operate.
I did have a hard moment after dinner last night as the evening was settling in. I am glad I turned to the scriptures. My mind wasn't wanting to do any reading of chapters. Instead I flipped through the scriptures finding highlighted ones. There were some that really applied to me and helped me pull myself up again.
Wes went and rented some movies and bought doughnuts. I'm sad to say I consumed more than my share. I should stop turning to food and not use it as a coping method. Wes and I watched Julie and Julia. I loved it and it really helped me. I have always loved good movies because they can take me out of my element and help me feel better. That is exactly what Julie and Julia did for me.
I wish I could turn away from all the funeral preparations that need to be done. That is one of the worst things to me. It needs to be done though. I cannot leave my sister and others to take on the full burden of preparing for it. There are also concerns about my grandmother and my brother and making sure they are well taken care of. That is something that my father did. My sister and her husband have really done so much for both of them and I know that I need to find ways to help, even if they are little ways. It is hard with a newborn to get much done some days, but I need to try.
Speaking of my newborn, I really hopes she will do well during the services since I will need to sing and talk. As long as she isn't crying or hungry it should go well. I am hoping it will be pretty much like church where she will sleep in the sling practically the whole time.
Well I will just have to see what the days ahead bring.
1 comment:
I liked that movie too. I thought it had a great message. It made me want to have a goal that she did to do something that she really loved to do. I liked that it was a true story too. We're praying for you and your family.
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